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PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 7:31 pm 
Joomla! Apprentice
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:20 pm
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Location: Poland
Hi everybody,

I`m creating a brochure presenting how Joomla! can be used in higher education.



Claimed: Dec 02 Due: Dec 16

[url=http://code.google.com/p/google-highly-open-participation-joomla/issues/detail?id=82Google Task[/url]

[me=AmyStephen]Changed subject slightly for sorting all threads to match against Google resource  :)[/me]


Last edited by AmyStephen on Sat Dec 22, 2007 2:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:28 pm 
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Hi, dpustulka. I am Rafa, from Spain.

Let me know if you need some help.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:52 am 
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dpustulka -

As Rafa says, we are here to help you with your task. If you need anything or have questions, please ask. Check out JoomlaPlace.org for examples of Joomla! used in Higher Ed. There are a number of other brochures and RICH comments made in those forum threads, already, so look around at that information, as well. In an open source community, collaboration is very important. Please share your work and ask for feedback from others.

Good luck with the contest!
Amy :)

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 11:55 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:20 pm
Posts: 7
Location: Poland
Hello,
I finished my task. I`m showing the brochure here and I`m waiting for suggestions.

PDF : http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla.pdf
ODT : http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla.odt

Thanks.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 12:12 am 
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Coooooool!

It's very clean and well structured. Now I know why you didn't ask for help ;)

Just a couple of suggestions:

You need a review by native english speaker (I am not sure if it is my poor english or there are one sentence or two that could be better).

I miss some "impact", some key point on the inside.

But is a really nice work. Thanks a lot, dpustulka!

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...nam qui dabat olim imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat, panem et circenses...
http://www.todosjuntos.org
http://inmo-e.com


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 1:52 am 
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Quote:
You need a review by native english speaker (I am not sure if it is my poor english or there are one sentence or two that could be better).

Your wish is my command!  Changes are tracked in the odt at:
http://bernsteinforpresident.com/review.odt

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:00 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:35 pm
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dpustulka -

Wanted to give a quick impression of "Wow!"

Your message is really good. I appreciate the nice and easy approach. Get an install shot of the v 1.5, though, instead of v 1.0.x. You should be able to find some in Installation Guide - click the Help button above.

You have some good reviews going here. I know Max has been involved in helping to edit every single tri-fold, thus far, (and likely every document, as well). I am starting to believe he is actually a Professor of English and Writing, rather than a High School Student.

This was a really good first shot. You are to be congratulated!

I'll be back when the community review slows down. Keep up the good work everyone!
Amy :)

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:34 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:20 pm
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Location: Poland
Hi,
I replaced an install shot and I corrected some language mistakes.
Latest version is available at the same address :)

http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla.pdf
http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla.odt


Last edited by dpustulka on Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 3:16 pm 
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How Joomla! can be used in Higher Education ? --> How can Joomla! be used in Higher Education?

Little bit of natural flow issue. Consider changing this:
Quote:
Joomla! provides you with a lot of easy and useful components. Web pages based on Joomla! system can become a perfect place for exchanging information between teachers and students


To:
Joomla! has thousands of easy to use and useful extensions. Web pages can be built with Joomla! to better enable teachers and students to exchange information.


http://www.joomla.org --> joomla.org

I absolutely LOVE the Joomla! logo with the hat. I probably better double-check that it qualifies for the logo usage guidelines.  :P

Consider changing "open" to "create" (and remove the comma)
Everyone, who wants to open create a website can use Joomla!.

Love the bulleted list What does Joomla! give you?

excellent looks --> stylish site? beautiful website? not sure.
a lot of different tools and components --> thousands of extensions on the Joomla! extension directory.

remove -->  You don't have to know any web technologies.  (they should know some things - trust me - I've spent enough time in the forums  ;) )

Few minutes and you can enjoy your new, fully equipped and interactive website :) --> not a complete sentence. The words "and interactive" are in a different font size.

A lot of different websites are based on our system. --> on this award winning CMS. (instead of on our system.)

schools' or universities' sites --> school and university sites

Look on the logo guidelines page - at the branding manual - in there, you will find the hex value for Joomla! blue. Use that instead of the blue in use. That will bring more of the Joomla! look to your very excellent tri-fold.

Thanks!
Amy :)

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http://www.alltogetherasawhole.org/


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:41 pm 
Joomla! Apprentice
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:20 pm
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Location: Poland
Hi,
I changed a brochure following your suggestions. It's available at : http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla.pdf


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 2:20 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:35 pm
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Location: Nebraska
Really great. With a couple of changes, I accept this as complete. I'll see if we can get another judge to view:

Consider removing "our website" - it might be alienating:

Quote:
If you want to find out more about
Joomla!, visit our website
joomla.org


Slighty change:
Quote:
Joomla! installation is very easy
Few minutes and you can enjoy your new, fully
equipped and interactive website.


How about:
Quote:
Installing Joomla! is very easy.
In only a few minutes, you can enjoy your new,
fully equipped and interactive website


Great great work!
Amy :)

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http://www.alltogetherasawhole.org/


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 6:25 pm 
Joomla! Apprentice
Joomla! Apprentice

Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:20 pm
Posts: 7
Location: Poland
Hi,
Ok, I corrected it. Please, check my work again and if you accept it, I`ll  upload the brochure to a Google server.
Thanks,
Dawid


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 2:31 am 
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I can see that you didn't change the text in the quote from "fast" to "quickly".  It is probably a good idea, since it was a quote.  Since you didn't change it, though, you should put [sic] right after where it says "fast". 

Nice brochure!

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:25 pm 
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I approve of the work done in this task.  We just need another reviewer now.

Ian


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:44 pm 
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David -

Make certain you have Max's changes and my changes in the text and let us know when that is ready for review. I'll also accept this when I know those changes have been made. Please be careful to double check to save us a bit of time.

Thanks!
Amy :)

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:06 pm 
Joomla! Apprentice
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:20 pm
Posts: 7
Location: Poland
Hello,
The latest version is here :
http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla.pdf
http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla.odt

I made you`re changes. The quotations was translated from Polish, so I changed "fast" to "quickly". :)
Thanks,


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:40 pm 
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If you translated the quotes from Polish, than you should also change "faster" to "more quickly" in
Quote:
"Thanks to our school website
I learn about school events much
faster.


Quote:
If you want to find out more about
Joomla!, visit

should probably be
Quote:
To find out more about
Joomla!, visit


"Higher Education" should not be capitalized in
Quote:
You can also use it in Higher Education.


Quote:
Joomla! can also be used to show a school outside or organize the school's life.

should be changed to
Quote:
Joomla! can be also used as a school's homepage or to help the school stay organized.




"and others." should be changed to an additional bullet point, titled "and more".


Quote:
There are a lot of school or university sites based on Joomla!

Quote:
There are many schools and universities who base their sites on Joomla!.


Also, remove all of the spaces before the question marks.


I copied most of this straight from the odt I posted previously.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:50 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:35 pm
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Location: Nebraska
David -

Please try, again, with Max's changes and let us know when the next version is available. Max - thanks for staying involved!

Thanks!
Amy :)

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 11:09 pm 
Joomla! Apprentice
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:20 pm
Posts: 7
Location: Poland
Hi,
I changed it as Max says.
Next version is at the same address :
http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla.odt

I also removed spaces before quotations and this version is at :
http://v-lo.krakow.pl/~dawidp/ghop/joomla_ns.odt

I think first one is better :)
Thanks,


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 2:03 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:35 pm
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David, please upload the first version to Google and I will mark your task as complete. Once the task has been marked complete, you will be free to choose another task.

Thanks for your contributions to the Joomla! community!

Amy :)

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