The best signature line in the world ... ever!

mediawizard · Post by **mediawizard** » Wed Oct 19, 2005 11:00 pm

Why does everyone treat me like a mushroom?
They keep me in the dark and feed me boolsh*t

Aspegic · Post by **Aspegic** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:11 pm

Well, what do you expect?
Ask a stupid person, get a stupid answer!

Vimes · Post by **Vimes** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:13 pm

Bagsy that one.

Mr_Bob · Post by **Mr_Bob** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 7:11 am

The perfect way to solve the gun issue. Everyone in the world gets a gun....but I get the ammunition.

pdisney · Post by **pdisney** » Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:07 pm

These are the funniest - Irreverant, but a fave in forums or usenet - "Arguing on the Internet is like running in the Special Olympics, even if you win you're still retarded"

Just plain odd - "Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way you'll be a mile away and he'll be shoeless."

shumisha · Post by **shumisha** » Tue Nov 01, 2005 7:03 pm

- Each year, there are more and more idiots. This year, I feel idiots from next year are already here

curuxz · Post by **curuxz** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:06 am

Im hung like Einstein
And Smart as a Horse

---------------------------------------------------

Your like the lobster in the pot, thrilled the water is getting toasty.....you never learn.

-----------------------------------------------------

The truth is a poor exscuse for lack of imagination

c2h5oh · Post by **c2h5oh** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:46 pm

"The day Microsoft makes something that does not suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners"

DominicWilson · Post by **DominicWilson** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:31 am

Read though these giggling away quietly and thought I'd offer a few of my own ...

Nearly wet myself when I saw this one as, would you believe it, an official signoff in a work e-mail from a colleague in London:
"Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are small and crunchy and taste good with ketchup !"

Another Churchill quote/signoff:
Hostess: "Mr Churchill, you are drunk !"
Churchill: "And Madam, you are ugly ! But I will be sober in the morning !"

and finally, for now, one of my Douglas Adams favorites (let's face it, the guy was a genius):
"I feel like a military academy. Bits of me keep passing out !"

alwarren · Post by **alwarren** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 12:06 pm

Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid. ~ William M. Kelly

tomza · Post by **tomza** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 1:33 pm

A selection that I use in different circumstances :

Linux is like a TEPEE - NO Gates - No Windows - Apache Inside

Share what you know - Learn what you don't

(My favorite)

The only one who really needs Windows is Bill Gates!

KimM · Post by **KimM** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:25 am

Aspegic wrote: I'm home, take me drunk

Got it on a t-shirt bought on Zakynthos, Greece

Garbach · Post by **Garbach** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 4:11 pm

Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet-engines!

SHazard · Post by **SHazard** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:39 pm

Here's some sigs I've collected..

"Reality continues to ruin my life" Calvin

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Mark Twain?!

Some wisdom for us parents:

Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble.

The real menace about dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old."

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.

wene · Post by **wene** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 2:09 pm

there are 2 secrets to stay the best :
1/- don't give all of your knowings

Forrestor · Post by **Forrestor** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 11:24 pm

"Columbus, damn you! Why entire world must suffer because of your curiosity?"

rvalerob · Post by **rvalerob** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 11:10 pm

If your best friend stabs you in the back several times ... mistrust them.
Chinese proverb

Isn't teflon a non-stick substance? How on earth can they stick it to pans?

JollyHotTamaleHollie · Post by **JollyHotTamaleHollie** » Fri Nov 25, 2005 3:09 am

Hi newbie first post.

I've seen many sigs I like, but my current favorite:

"Don't be sad because it ended, be happy because it happened"

and another --

If you always keep your belly buttoned, you won't lose your birthday suit!

dhom · Post by **dhom** » Sat Nov 26, 2005 6:52 am

From my friend:

At Little Home in Pleasanton ...
I needed one $10 bill to pay for lunch but only had a $100 bill, so I needed change...
Me to Waitress: Can I have some twenties and one ten?

berkley · Post by **berkley** » Sat Nov 26, 2005 8:36 pm

Simple and to the point at 5:00 PM Friday.

"Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine!"

Joo · Post by **Joo** » Mon Dec 05, 2005 5:12 am

I just came up with this one. Maybe it'll be my "release candidate" sig

If Open Source doesn't matter, then what matters?

dverma · Post by **dverma** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 9:22 am

How about this .... ?

*** Gravity is a myth, Earth Sucks !! ***

Deepak

dthacker · Post by **dthacker** » Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:30 am

From a bumper sticker:
Too many freaks. Not enough circuses.

From a colleague
I think you're suffering from a case of premature extrapolation.

And my all time favorite:
Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

Dave

bema · Post by **bema** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 11:56 am

Computers are like air conditioners – as soon as you open windows they stop working.

wh7w7r · Post by **wh7w7r** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:17 pm

Q. Re: The best signature line in the world ... ever!
A. '42'

wh7w7r · Post by **wh7w7r** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:18 pm

but seriously...

Here are my 0.02$

I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity but why don't we just take the safety labels of everything and let the problem solve itself.

UNIX really is user friendly... it's just picky about who its friends are.

l8TR

spignataro · Post by **spignataro** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:52 am

"Have you ever been in therapy? No? You should try it. It's like a really easy game show where the correct answer to every question is: 'Because of my mother.'"

After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'."

"The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable."

"If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one."

"As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, 'Relax, you're not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients', but the another kept reminding me, 'Howard, you are a veterinarian!'"

"My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."

"A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a labotomy."

"She got her looks from her father: He's a plastic surgeon."

"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined."

thats my p's and q's

itsjustme · Post by **itsjustme** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:33 am

I saw back up there somewhere "A closed mouth gathers no feet." Good one.

I thought I made a mistake once, but, of course, I was mistaken. - Me

aapje · Post by **aapje** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 2:15 pm

- You are unique, just like everyone else -

eddyyanto · Post by **eddyyanto** » Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:48 am

Dressing up is a way of disguising that you've got no personality.